


Mixtapes and Mistakes

by Writcraft



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Fingering, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Community: hp_crossgenfest, Cross-Generation Relationship, HP: EWE, M/M, Minor Teddy Lupin/Original Male Character(s), Non-Linear Narrative, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 16:22:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7808776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writcraft/pseuds/Writcraft
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teddy has always wanted Harry, but he can’t seem to convince Harry it’s a good idea.  In the end, all it takes is a long, hot summer, a year and a half of waiting and a mixtape with a magical twist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to A for a very speedy SPaG check and to the wonderful moderator for showing endless good humour and patience. I really enjoyed writing this story and I hope you enjoy reading it. If you want the playlist in a handy location I’ll be adding Spotify and YouTube links post reveals.

**Summer 2017 // Miracle Aligner**

It’s one of the warmest summers on record. London is hot and sticky, full of people crowded together and taking photographs of one Muggle landmark after another. The escape to Godric’s Hollow is a welcome one and Teddy can’t stop the way his heart flutters in his chest when he approaches Harry’s house. He takes his time ambling along the narrow streets lined with heavily scented gardens and large bumble bees making their erratic journey from flower to flower. He’s been to Godric’s Hollow before but never at this time of year, with the prospect of Harry’s company for two long, summer months.

He knocks on the door when he reaches it, the butterflies in his stomach making his palms sweat. He wipes them hurriedly on his jeans and thinks he’s just about managed to look half-way normal by the time Harry opens the door, his smile wide. The _thump_ of Teddy’s heart in his chest is exacerbated by the messy, inky strands of Harry’s hair peppered with distinguished grey. His eyes crinkle just as Teddy likes best, his gaze lush green and his lips teasing Teddy as they quirk into another smile; smaller this time.

“You’ve grown.” Harry looks as though he’s been gardening and Teddy can’t help the rush of affection which courses through him. It’s so typical of Harry to take on a half ruined house and do everything he can to make it feel like a home again.

“I’ve hardly grown in the three months since you last saw me. I’m nineteen. I don’t think I’ll grow anymore.” 

Harry smiles, warm and open. “Perhaps. Still, you look good.”

Teddy tries not to preen, because he knows Harry doesn’t mean anything by the compliment. “Thanks. Hi, by the way.” Teddy hugs Harry and takes a moment to breathe in his scent. God. Harry. He’s so gorgeous it makes Teddy’s chest tighten until it’s hard to breathe properly. He pulls back before he does something that would only embarrass them both. “Thanks for letting me stay. London’s a mad house, I was glad to get out of there for a while.”

“No problem.” Harry shrugs, stepping back to let Teddy inside. “It’s been a while since I’ve had company during the summer. I’m glad of it.” He pauses and a flicker of uncertainty crosses his features. “There’s not much to do here, though. If you’re bored and you want to get back to the city I won’t take offence.”

Teddy snorts, because the idea of being bored with Harry is preposterous. He’s pretty sure he’s never going to get bored of spending time with Harry. He doesn’t say that, of course. Instead he deposits his broom in the hall and turns back to Harry. “You can still fly, can’t you?”

Harry arches an eyebrow, his lips twitching into a smile. “For short distances, if I keep to a sensible height and my knees are having a good day.”

Teddy lets out a burst of laughter. They both know Harry’s teasing. He could probably still fly dragons if he had to. “Well, then. We’ll do that on your good knee days. What do you do on the bad ones?”

“Laze around in the sun and reminisce about my misspent youth.”

“Perfect. I want some tips on how to misspend mine.”

“You didn’t hear them from me.” Harry winks and there’s a camaraderie in it that makes Teddy smile. He ducks his head so Harry doesn’t wonder what he’s grinning about all the time and wonders if being a Metamorphmagus will help him hide the fact he fancies Harry rotten. 

“Is this it?” Teddy looks around a small, bright bedroom when Harry opens the door.

“If you’re okay with this one. There’s another room further down the hall but it doesn’t get as much light and it’s a bit smaller. I thought you might prefer this.”

Teddy would prefer to be in with Harry but he hasn’t had nearly enough booze to disclose that particular secret. “This is perfect, thanks.”

Harry leans against the doorframe for a moment, watching Teddy. “No problem. I put a couple of photos up. I thought it might make it feel more like home.”

“Yeah. Cheers.” Home is important to Harry and Teddy knows that better than anyone. His heart gives another flutter as he looks at the selection of small photographs dotted around the room. “It’s nice.”

“Thanks.” Harry gestures downstairs. “I’ll just be…”

“Yeah.” Teddy nods, giving Harry a moment to go downstairs before he has a good look at the room. He picks up one of the photographs of he and Harry when he was younger, tanned and grinning for the camera. He remembers that summer – a hot month in Spain with chilled thimblefuls of Sangria and lashings of rich, saffron infused paella. Teddy can still remember the haze of the sunset over the sea and the way salt water tasted against his lips. Whenever he can be bothered to take a bath instead of a shower he still thinks of the cool waves lapping over his warm feet and burying his toes in hot sand, feeling the roughness against his skin. It was the best summer in recent memory.

Teddy sticks his tongue out at his own grinning face as his younger self stares at Harry like he’s the best thing that’s ever lived. He’s always been fascinated with Harry. He remembers those evenings when Harry would ruffle Teddy’s hair and have long conversations with Ron. His eyes would crinkle at the edges when he smiled – just as they still do even though Harry smiles less these days. The photograph was taken towards the end of the summer when Harry had tanned to a deep golden brown and his nose burned at the tip and began to peel. Teddy half remembers Harry diving into the pool, all lean lines and hard muscle and he remembers thinking he’d like to be just like Harry one day. He hadn’t been self-aware enough at that point to recognise admiration was actually infatuation – or perhaps it’s just always been a bit of both when it comes to Harry.

Teddy closes his eyes and swipes his tongue over his lips, those long-ago images etched on his brain. Harry’s face changes over the years which kaleidoscope through Teddy’s mind. It softens and he loses his tan. His jet black hair peppers with dark grey strands just at the sides and on some days he has thick stubble which makes him look rougher and unkempt until he looks just as he did the day he left London for Godric's Hollow; mouth pressed in a serious line and eyes sad and fond.

Teddy blinks his eyes open and flicks his wand to put his luggage by the bed. 

“Do you want a beer?” Harry’s voice carries upstairs and Teddy can’t help the rush of pleasure at Harry offering him a drink. It’s not his first beer but Harry’s always treated Teddy like an equal and never made him feel he was being a nuisance even when he was just a kid that would cling to Harry’s side in a way that makes his cheeks heat to remember. 

“Yeah. Let me change and I’ll be right down. It was a bit of a flight.”

It’s not strictly true, it was only a couple of hours but in the sticky heat of summer being on a broom even for half an hour is warm and uncomfortable. Besides, Teddy’s got a new t-shirt which hugs his chest and accentuates every line of his developing muscles. He might be able to change his body at will but he’s worked hard to develop a toned physique over the last few years which is the result of hard work in Muggle gyms rather than magic. He thinks of Harry diving into the pool in Spain and bites his lip, suppressing a shiver which travels the length of his body. He’s got to stop behaving like Harry’s biggest fan otherwise he’ll be on to Teddy in no time. Pulling another face at his younger self, Teddy places his white v-neck and a pair of torn jeans on the bed. He loves the jeans which make his legs look like they go on forever and the end result isn’t bad at all. Corner’s talking mirror might even go so far as to call him _gorgeous_. Teddy winks at his reflection in the mirror and swallows back a wave of nerves.

“Be cool,” he reminds himself. “Just be cool.”

*

 

_Let me never lose sight of you, come and battle your chain all you want  
you're always gonna be welcomed here in the hallways that you used to haunt_

 

*

Teddy hates that he’s not allowed to stay up late when Harry visits. On those nights Harry drinks whisky and talks in a low, rich voice full of warmth and humour. Teddy strains to hear the conversation but on most occasions his door is partially shut to anything except for the quiet murmur of voices from the gathered guests. He hates it most of all when the lights go out in his room and the door closes completely. That's when he can’t hear the steady hum of chatter anymore and he’s left alone with the silence and shadows. He has his first nightmare when Harry’s visiting and Harry brushes Teddy’s hair from his forehead, his breath whiskey smooth and his words quiet and soothing.

“Teddy, it’s okay. Just a bad dream.”

“There were monsters.” Teddy scrubs his eyes and clutches his soft toys to his chest. “I’m scared.”

Harry casts a quiet spell until the room is bathed in a soft light. He sits in a chair next to Teddy’s bed and takes his hand, giving it a squeeze. “Do you know what I do when I’m scared?”

“No.” Teddy shakes his head and pulls his stuffed dragon closer. 

“I think about mum and dad and I think about _your_ mum and dad. I think about Sirius Black, Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape and all the people who helped me fight everything I was scared of once. When I let them into my dreams, I don’t feel so scared anymore.”

“What if they don’t come?” Teddy’s voice breaks and he stares at Harry who gives him a soft smile.

“They always do. They’ll hear you whenever you need them, even when it should be impossible.”

Teddy’s heart steadies and he tugs his sheets around his chin. “Tell me a story?”

“What kind of story?”

“One with dragons.” 

Harry’s brilliant at telling stories, and he always makes time to see Teddy before bed. He tells him stories of snakes as tall as Teddy’s house, with eyes that turn people to ice. He tells Teddy stories of magical stones that make you live forever, of invisibility cloaks and the moving stairs and ghosts at Hogwarts. 

The one story Harry never tells is the story of the boy who won the war. Instead he smiles and ruffles Teddy’s hair, changing the subject until they’re walking through a forest filled with unicorns, centaurs and thestrals. Perhaps in their own way, those are all a part of the story of the boy who died to save the world.

Teddy asks Harry to tell him about his parents when he’s warm and fuzzy and doesn’t feel so scared anymore. As Teddy’s right on the cusp of sleep, Harry’s hand finds his, soft and warm. He tells Teddy the story of Moony and Tonks. They sound amazing. Like something from one of Harry’s best stories. He listens with wide eyes and bated breath as Harry tells Teddy how his dad helped Harry learn how to fight the hooded creatures that suck the happiness right out of a room. He learns about his mum’s bravery and the way she left her family behind and fought for the things she believed in. Harry shows Teddy a grainy photograph he still keeps in his wallet, one Teddy’s seen before. His father’s there with the same ash blonde hair as Teddy, waving his hand and smiling. He looks tired, shoulder to shoulder with another man with jet black hair and a rakish smile. Sirius Black, Teddy remembers. Harry’s godfather, just like Harry is Teddy’s godfather.

Teddy tries to imagine what it would be like to lose Harry, as Harry lost Sirius. The thought makes his eyes sting and he clutches Harry’s hand harder, scouring the photograph for his mum’s face. The picture’s black and white but Harry tells Teddy his mum had purple hair, usually. Sometimes pink. Blue, when it snowed and she fancied a bit of a change. Teddy likes blue. His heart warms as Harry mentions all the colours of the rainbow.

“Hey.” A smile spreads Harry’s face as he reaches over and fingers the once ashen strands of Teddy’s hair. “It’s turned blue. Just like your mum.”

Teddy’s heart leaps and he looks at the mirror, his eyes widening at the sight of himself with a wild shock of bright blue hair. “I’m a Metamorpha-thingy too?”

“Metamorphmagus. Yeah.” Harry gives Teddy another one of his wide smiles and Teddy’s heart beats strangely in his chest. Harry’s so brilliant. 

“Harry?”

“Hmm?” Harry strands, stretches and rubs his eyes after tucking Teddy in. 

“Where d’you think your parents are?”

Harry’s smile falters and he looks away from Teddy, his expression wistful. “They’re causing trouble with yours, I reckon.”

“Can we go and see?”

Harry shakes his head and presses a soft kiss to Teddy’s forehead. “No, love. Not yet. Not for a long time.”

Teddy doesn’t ask Harry any more questions, not that night.

Instead he falls asleep dreaming of a woman with bright purple hair who drinks mead at the Leaky Cauldron and fights amazing battles with the creatures of Harry’s stories with his dad and a man who looks a lot like Harry.

**Summer 2017 // Who Knows**

“It’s ages since I’ve been here. It looks different.” Teddy takes the beer Harry offers and has a gulp. He doesn’t miss the way Harry’s eyes flick over him when he steps into the garden or the way Harry looks away quickly, a light flush in his cheeks. He mentally congratulates himself on an outfit well-chosen.

“I’ve got to do something with my time now I’m a man of leisure.” Harry pulls a face like he doesn’t enjoy time off.

“How’s that going?” Teddy takes a seat and Harry joins him after giving the garden one more determined look, as if he’s going to have everything done by the end of the summer. “Don’t you miss it?”

“The Ministry?” Harry shrugs. “Sometimes. I don’t miss the politics and the paperwork. It’s the people I miss most of all.”

“I’ll bet.” Teddy tips his head to the side, watching Harry. “Why didn’t you want to be Minister?”

Harry snorts and opens another beer. “You heard about that?”

“I’m friends with Corner.”

“Michael?” Harry’s brow furrows.

“Andrew. His son. Michael’s not really around much anymore. He was young.” 

“Of course. I remember.” Harry rakes a hand through his hair, distracted as if it’s only just occurred to him how many of his peers married and settled. 

“So why didn’t you?” Teddy tries not to sound like a hopeless fan and looks away to deflect a little of the conviction behind his words. “You’d be brilliant at it.”

Harry laughs, softly. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Teddy’s cheeks heat and he meets Harry’s eyes. “I mean it.”

“It’s not for me.” Harry shakes his head, but he doesn’t look cross. If anything he just looks fond. “I don’t really have the press support I used to, these days. Besides, I don’t want to start some kind of campaign against Kingsley. He’s not ready to retire and nor should he – he still does a good job and he has my backing if it’s of any use to him.”

“He didn’t exactly turn the Ministry around on his own.” Teddy tips his beer in Harry’s direction and gets rewarded with a broad smile.

“We did what we could.” Harry stares at the garden and his eyes close briefly, lost in thought. They share the silence for a moment before he turns to Teddy. “Supper’s nearly ready. I made a casserole.” He sounds ridiculously proud and Teddy tries very hard not to fall even more in love with him. Harry and his self-deprecation and support of his friends and former colleagues. It’s ridiculous and endearing all at the same time.

“I’m starving. Casserole sounds great.” Teddy stands and stretches, showing off the full line of his body. It’s still strange to see Harry gardening and making casserole when Teddy’s more used to seeing him on the Quidditch pitch or in his Auror robes, looking official and serious. “I got you a bottle of wine to say thanks for having me. Malfoy promised me it’s decent.”

“Draco Malfoy?” Harry raises an eyebrow at Teddy.

“Yeah. We’re working on something together. I’ll tell you about it in a bit.” Teddy’s cheeks heat because he’s not quite ready to share his plan with Harry. He’s got a bit more work to do and contracts to sign with Malfoy before that happens. For the moment he wants to keep his two greatest passions – Harry and Muggle music – close to his chest. He’ll be able to talk about both when the time’s right. He just needs to be patient.

“Did he know you were planning to give the wine to me?” Harry grimaces. “If so, I’m not sure I trust his judgment.”

Teddy laughs. The rivalry between Malfoy and Harry is a constant source of amusement to him. After years working together the antagonism faded into a back and forth which Teddy’s sure they both enjoy despite their protestations to the contrary. “Do you think I’m soft?”

“Well that’s a relief.” Harry gives Teddy a side-long glance. “That was decent of you, thanks. You know you’re always welcome here, though? You’re free to come and go as you please and I don’t need any gifts. You should treat it like a home.”

There’s a flicker of sadness which crosses Harry’s face and Teddy’s struck once again by the solitude of Godric’s Hollow. The only things that move in the house when it’s just Harry are the photographs of the absent and the dead. Teddy reaches his hand out to clasp Harry’s arm and they both stare at his pale, warm fingers curled around Harry’s tanned forearm. A wave of affection floods through Teddy and he squeezes Harry’s wrist, keeping close enough to smell his scent and the faintest remnants of Muggle suntan lotion.

“Thanks, Harry.”

Harry smiles at Teddy in the light of the setting sun, leaving Teddy breathless. “You’re welcome.”

They shift apart and make their way inside as the sun dips blood red, beneath the horizon.

*

_I will march down an empty street like a ship into the storm_  
_No surrender, no retreat, I will tear down every wall_  
_just to keep you warm, just to bring you home..._  
_if your world falls apart I'd start a riot_

*

Harry comes out when Teddy’s thirteen thanks to Skeeter’s big mouth and a blond twink that Teddy decides he hates on sight. He’s having a perfectly relaxing morning until the _Prophet_ lands on the Hufflepuff table, where he’s busy shovelling cereal into his mouth and hoping Potions might be cancelled due to the unseasonably sunny weather. The last thing he wants is to be cooped up in a classroom that smells like decaying flobberworms.

“Potter’s a fag.” Christopher Boot slides onto the bench next to Teddy, nudging him and giving him a look Teddy doesn’t like at all. “What do you think about _that_?”

“Not a lot.” Teddy ignores the pounding of his heart and resists the urge to pick up the paper. “I’ve known for ages. And don’t call him a fag.”

“Why not, if it’s true?” 

“Because it’s not very nice.” Teddy’s pretty sure it isn’t, anyway. The way Boot watches him makes his cheeks heat and he looks away, keeping his eyes from the paper. Something inside his belly twists uncomfortably as he imagines Harry with another man. The thought isn’t unpleasant exactly. It just makes Teddy cross and leaves an ache in his chest which he doesn’t quite understand.

He wants Harry to be happy and ever since Teddy’s known him, Harry’s been alone.

When Boot finally leaves to tell someone else his news, Teddy grabs the paper. Harry’s face is illuminated by the flashing lights from the _Prophet’s_ cameras. His hand barely covers his face and Teddy runs his finger over the place Harry’s lips twist with displeasure. He’s holding hands with a gorgeous looking twenty-something blond, whose hand slips from Harry’s as the cameras continue to flash.

Teddy stares into Harry’s eyes. 

He doesn’t look happy. 

He looks resigned.

**Summer 2017 // Heartbreaker**

“You’re good at this.”

“This?” 

Teddy gestures at his plate. “Cooking.”

“Oh.” Harry laughs and points to a shelf full of books with recipes spilling out of them. “It’s all Molly Weasley's doing. She’s still determined to fatten me up so she gave me all the family secrets. Ron was ready to throttle me for that.”

“Well, I’m glad she did.” Teddy swirls his wine in his glass like he’s seen Malfoy do before, thinking it might make him look a bit older – more sophisticated. His cheeks are warm with the flush of delicious food, wine and the pleasure of Harry’s company. He’s not sure he’s been this content for a long time. 

“Me too.” A smile plays around Harry’s lips as he sips his wine. “Thanks for the wine.”

“It’s good?”

Harry nods, fixing Teddy with the same lazy stare. “Very.” 

“Are you seeing anyone?” Teddy can’t help but hold his breath as he stares at Harry. Their eyes lock and it’s like Teddy’s chest opens to expose his every last desire. Eventually Harry looks away and the feeling dissipates.

“Seeing anyone?” Harry shakes his head. “Nope. I assume you mean regularly?”

The response makes Teddy bristle and his lips tighten as he nods. “Yes. I’m not on about one-offs.” Part of him _is_ though. Part of Teddy desperately wants to know who Harry fucks and how. Call him a masochist, but Teddy wants to know exactly what piques Harry’s interest when he’s lonely and looking for someone to warm his bed.

“There aren’t many of those, either.” Harry looks up, his expression shrewd as he studies Teddy. “Don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t.” Teddy has to school his face quickly before Harry clocks his obvious annoyance at the thought of someone with Harry - the faceless _not manys_. “I was just curious.”

Harry nods, his expression blank. He doesn’t offer any more detail about his love life, looking away while the silence stretches out between them. “I’m sorry if it’s made things difficult for you.”

Teddy frowns at Harry. “If what’s made things difficult?”

Harry finally looks at Teddy, straight on. “Who I am. I’m sure it can’t be easy to read the articles in the _Prophet_ sometimes.”

“You think it bothers me that you’re gay?” Harry’s so far off the mark, Teddy’s voice raises a little as he stares at Harry. “Really?”

“I think it bothers a lot of people. More than I expected.” Harry pulls a face. “I don’t want it to impact my friends and family. I try to be discreet.”

“Don’t be discreet on my account.” Teddy pauses, his knuckles white as he grips his fork and looks at his plate as if it’s the most fascinating thing he’s seen all week. 

Harry pours another glass of wine, his expression the same flat, neutral one which makes Teddy want to shake him. “Not just on your account. It’s best for everyone if I keep things casual, not least for any prospective partner. I dread to think what Skeeter would do with them.”

Anger coils in Teddy’s stomach and he glares at Harry. “What about the kids who look up to you? Don’t you think they deserve something better than your discretion?”

“I’m fighting their battles too now, am I?” Harry’s tone is clipped and he rubs his forehead as if his scar hurts. “Shit, Teddy. I don’t want to argue about this. It’s the last thing I want to do with you.”

“I know, but…” Teddy takes a breath and changes course. “Remember once you told me what you did when you were scared of bad dreams?”

Harry shakes his head, his brow furrowed. "I don't think so."

“I do. You said I should think about my mum or my dad or people who fought to keep me safe. If they were there, you said nothing would be able to harm me. It helped.”

Harry nods, a wave of sadness crossing his features. “I remember. I do that.”

“I know you did.” Teddy’s voice lowers. “I know you _do_. I do too and it's always you, Harry. My mum was there sometimes. My dad, too. Even bloody Andrew made an appearance.” Teddy rolls his eyes because watching Corner face off against a particularly aggressive Cornish Pixie had swiftly turned a nightmare into something far more comical until he was less worried about the dark and more concerned with getting a stitch in his side from laughing so hard. 

“I don’t see what that has to do with-”

Teddy interrupts because he almost can’t bear for Harry to say it; to put two and two together. “I just mean for me it’s always been you.” That skirts far too close to the truth and Teddy swallows thickly around the lump in his throat. “You keeping me safe, I mean. I’ve always…looked up to you.” The _you’re my hero_ hangs unspoken between them, the heat in Teddy’s cheeks and the waver in his voice no doubt giving him away. He wonders how much Harry sees if he looks hard enough – if Teddy’s as naked and raw and he imagines.

“I would keep you safe if I could. You know that.” Harry studies Teddy carefully. He’s still frowning but a glimmer of understanding flickers across his face. He stretches his arm around the empty chair next to him, never once taking his eyes off Teddy. When he speaks his voice is calm, fond and low. “This isn’t about being scared of monsters, though. This isn’t about being scared of the dark. This is about my personal life being _personal_.” Harry’s voice dips lower and he leans forward a little. “Do you…deserve more than my discretion?”

“Yeah, I think so. Any gay kid does.” It leaves Teddy in a rush and he breathes out a _whoosh_ of breath. He has the strangest urge to cry, his cheeks hot and his voice breaking a little. “I’ve not really said that before. Out loud.”

“Well, then.” Harry’s next to him in a moment, his strong arms wrapping around Teddy and his voice fierce and rough around the edges. “Never be ashamed of who you are. Don’t let me tell you different. I might not shout it from the rooftops but it’s not because I’m ashamed – never because of that.”

Teddy leans forward because he can’t help it. Harry’s just there, watching him with this dark, unfathomable look in his eyes and Teddy’s wanted him for so, so long. He inches forward with clumsy hands on Harry’s leg and kisses him slowly. It’s like he’s forgotten any other kiss he’s ever had and it’s just Harry’s lips and his own colliding together for the first time in a clumsy, messy, breathtaking way that takes them both by surprise.

Harry’s breath hitches and a sound catches in his throat which Teddy swallows with kiss after kiss. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to breathe if Harry stops kissing him and he clutches him close, drawing him deeper into it as he manages to get an arm around Harry’s neck until they both sigh. Teddy licks into Harry’s mouth and _fuck_ Harry can kiss, slow and sensuous and just the right side of rough and demanding to send shivers down the length of Teddy’s spine. His lips taste like wine and he opens his mouth fully to Teddy with a groan, a hand fisting in Teddy’s hair as he gives everything back.

Teddy runs his fingers along the length of Harry’s thigh, the thick material of Harry’s jeans rough against his fingers. It’s only when he reaches higher that Harry grips his hand and stills him, pulling back with a low growl and a muttered curse.

“ _Teddy_.” Harry’s voice is rough and broken. He raises a hand to his forehead and Teddy’s surprised to see it tremble as he rubs his fingers over the faint remnants of his scar. “I…”

“Yeah. I know.” Teddy swallows and he’s suddenly so fucking desperate to be with Harry for the summer he’ll do _anything_ , even if it means never kissing him again. He just wants to feel the warmth of Harry’s smile and keep Godric’s Hollow busy and full of laughter instead of spending his time thinking about Harry with his lonely photographs in an empty cottage that was supposed to be bustling. “I’ve wanted to try that for a while. Now who’s making who uncomfortable?”

Harry laughs but it sounds forced and nervous, his eyes flicking to Teddy’s lips and then up again. He keeps hold of Teddy’s hand and shakes his head. “You’re not. You couldn’t.”

“Think I just did,” Teddy mutters. He shoots Harry a grin, wondering if he looks as well-kissed as Harry does. He can’t resist brushing his thumb gently over Harry’s bottom lip, watching how his eyes shut for a second too long and the way his lips part almost eagerly under the gentle pressure. Using all of his restrain, Teddy shifts away and pours them both another glass of wine. “I won’t do that again.”

“Okay.” Harry tips his glass in Teddy’s direction and doesn’t say much more, his brow lightly furrowed as he stares into the distance.

Teddy likes to think it’s disappointment but before he can work it out, Harry’s expression smooths into something soft and inviting again and he’s moved back to his own side of the table.

“You can talk to me about it if you want. Anytime.” Harry meets Teddy’s gaze and there’s something unreadable behind it which makes Teddy’s cheeks heat.

“Thanks. I’ll do that.”

They sip their wine in unison and Teddy’s pretty sure they both know it’s a lie.

*

_Come find me now, where I hide and we'll speak in our secret tongues.  
So will you come back to my corner? Spent too long alone tonight_

*

Teddy’s fascination with Muggle music begins when he’s fifteen and Corner convinces him it’s a good idea to try to buy drinks in Muggle London one long summer when they’re bored out of their minds and they haven’t yet discovered a mutual interest in snogging one another.

“It’s going to be fun, promise.”

“I’ll hate it.” Teddy wears an old t-shirt of Harry’s with a bold red tongue on the front and the scribbled name _Rolling Stones_. He borrowed it years ago and forgot to give it back. “Who are they, anyway?”

“They’re only the bloody Rolling Stones. Heathen.” Corner shakes his head, askance. He pulls a t-shirt over his head and checks himself in the mirror which tells him he’s looking fabulous (as ever). Teddy glares at the mirror when it describes him as ‘passable’.

“This mirror’s in love with you. Which is pathetic, by the way.”

“Don’t be a prat.” Corner grins, wide enough to send Teddy’s heart fluttering. “Coming, then?”

“Yeah.” Teddy hides the flush in his cheeks by ducking his head and following Corner to the Floo.

It’s not even seven thirty when they settle in seats which smell of stale beer and clutch warm lagers in their fists. The first band comes on stage, all skinny jeans and loud guitars and Teddy isn’t sure he’s ever seen anything like it. There’s no magic involved – no theatrics, fireworks or spells to make the singer’s voice deeper, rougher, louder or more tuneful. There’s just angry chords and honeyed vocals with an edge which sends shivers down Teddy’s spine. 

That night he leaves with a warm kiss on the cheek, his first autograph and a battered leaflet listing over twenty different bands scheduled to play that month. He brushes his fingers against his cheek and smiles, his head spinning with the spicy scent of cologne. 

**Summer 2017 // Boys of Summer**

“We should get ice cream.” Teddy’s voice catches on the wind and Harry pulls his broom to a stop, turning so he can see Teddy. His face is contoured by the light from the setting sun and his smile is wide and open, a laugh bubbling from deep within his chest.

“Ice cream?” Harry pulls his broom close to Teddy and nudges him lightly. “You’re stopping us during one of the best sunsets of the summer because you want _ice cream_?”

Teddy throws Harry a sheepish smile. The air carries the faint scent of smoke and freshly mown grass. “What can I say? I’m a growing lad. I need my sustenance. I can’t just fly around without working up an appetite, you know.”

“Fine.” Harry sounds put out, but his smile indicates otherwise. He angles his broom sharply down and speeds off before Teddy can catch his breath. He laughs when Harry’s parting shot filters through the air. “Last one to land can buy them.”

With a huff, Teddy pushes towards the ground and hurtles towards Harry with another bark of laughter as the sun turns the clouds blood red and orange.

“Do I get some of that?” Harry asks when they settle in comfortable seats at a small café on the outskirts of Godric’s Hollow.

“Not sure. You lost, didn’t you?” Teddy gives Harry a grin and licks his spoon before dipping it back into his enormous chocolate fudge sundae. “It must be old age.”

“Or I’m a nice bloke and I let you win.” 

“You wouldn’t.”

“I might.” 

Teddy rolls his eyes and flicks his wand to Summon a spare spoon, passing it to Harry. “As if I wouldn’t share.”

Harry takes a bite of the ice cream and groans in a way which sets Teddy’s heart fluttering in his chest. He takes in the way Harry’s throat works when he swallows and has the filthiest image of Harry on his knees, hands large and rough on Teddy’s bare thighs.

“Good, isn’t it?” Teddy’s voice comes out in an embarrassing croak which makes Harry look at him strangely.

“You can’t beat chocolate ice cream on a hot day.” He pauses and studies the sundae, without looking at Teddy. “It’s been a good summer, hasn’t it?”

“The best,” Teddy says. It’s been his first summer with Harry since that holiday in Spain all those years ago and he’s wanted it to last forever. “I can’t believe I’m not going back to Hogwarts in September.”

“All grown up.” Harry puts his spoon on the spare plate beside him and studies Teddy. “You’ve decided against taking up the position Hermione offered at the Ministry, I gather?”

“Yeah.” Teddy’s stomach flip-flops with nerves as he knew that would come up sooner rather than later. “I don’t think I’d make a very good lawyer. The Ministry’s great and I’m really grateful to Hermione, but it’s just not for me. I’ve been working on something, actually.” His cheeks heat as he thinks of his closely guarded secret and his nights sneaking out to Muggle concerts and reading books on magic and electronics under the duvet long into the night. His exams had been decent enough but he could have done even better if he hadn’t spent every waking moment working on his idea.

“Oh?” Harry looks curious and pushes when Teddy hesitates. “Is this the thing with Malfoy? Life’s too short to do something that makes you miserable. After spending too many years at the Ministry myself, I should know that.” He gives Teddy a wry smile. “I just want you to be happy.”

Harry’s words embolden Teddy and he talks quickly, his head bowed close to Harry’s. “It’s music charms. I’ve got an idea about integrating Muggle music into wizarding spells, like memories and things because more people than ever are part of the Muggle world in one way or another. I thought they could be bottled up and given as gifts, with soundtracks and playlists to accompany the memories.” Teddy pulls a face because it’s not as easy as it sounds. “Of course, magic makes Muggle electronics go haywire. It’s really complicated working out how to integrate the two.”

“I can imagine.” A smile plays over Harry’s lips and he gives Teddy a look which sends heat pooling in his belly. “I’m proud of you and I bet your mum and dad would be too. You’ll be brilliant, whatever you decide to do. You’ll let me see, will you? When you’ve worked out all the wrinkles?”

“’Course.” Teddy stares at Harry until the air between them feels electric and charged. Teddy’s heart swoops in his chest and he stares at Harry’s eyes, green and open. There’s a little chocolate at the corner of his mouth and he brushes it away with his thumb, putting his thumb in his mouth and sucking it while he studies Harry. “There was…chocolate.”

“Right.” Harry clears his throat and looks away, a light flush colouring his cheeks. “Thanks.” Eventually he turns back to the sundae and digs his spoon in. “Come on, the ice cream’s melting.”

Teddy hears rather than sees the smile in Harry’s voice. “Can’t have that, can we?” Teddy savours a half melted spoon of ice cream and takes the opportunity to close his eyes just to steady himself. “Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve had the best summer ever. I’m not just saying that.”

Harry pauses and Teddy hears the _clink, clink_ of his spoon against glass.

“I’m glad.”

They eat in companionable silence until their mouths are ice cold and there’s nothing more than the remnants of melted ice cream left in the glass bowl.

*

_Cause we're hot like hell_  
_does it burn when I'm not there?_  
_when you're by yourself_  
_am I the answer to your prayers?_

*

He’s sixteen when Teddy starts to realise that he and Harry have more in common than losing their parents to a bloody war.

“It’s good, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s good.” Teddy grips Corner’s hand and pulls back, breathless. “So fucking good.”

“You’re hot, Teddy.” Andrew mouths a line down Teddy’s neck, slipping his hand into Teddy’s trousers and stroking him with slow, blissful purpose. His green and silver tie is askew and his shirt is open at the collar. When he pulls back to look at Teddy, his eyes blaze with want. “So hot.”

“Yeah. You too.” Teddy closes his eyes and groans, arching into the hand wrapped around him. “Like that. Just like that.” He tugs at the zip on Andrew’s trousers and shoves his hand inside the small space, finding him hard and warm. He circles his fingers around Andrew’s prick and kisses him until they’re both panting and breathless.

After a ragged _yes_ and a _gonna…oh, Christ_ they shudder and sigh only moments apart.

Andrew continues to stroke Teddy until he’s limp and oversensitive and he has to push Andrew’s hand away. 

“Enough?” Andrew looks at Teddy, a soft smile spreading across his face.

Teddy lets out a breath between his teeth before rearranging himself and giving Andrew one of his broadest smiles.

“Give us a chance to recover. Got any of that booze?”

“It’s gross.” Andrew pulls a face but uncorks the bottle anyway. “Too sweet for me.”

Teddy shrugs and grabs the bottle, taking a long swig and pulling a face. “It’ll do.”

When Andrew kisses him again, he tastes like plum wine and treacle tart.

As Teddy closes his eyes and sinks into the kiss with Andrew, Harry’s face is the one he sees.

**Summer 2017 // Closer**

The clouds stretch across the sun and block out the watery light of the morning. Teddy bounds down the stairs, taking them two at a time. Godric’s Hollow feels like home, even though it’s not. It’s got that cosy lived in feel with photographs of family and friends adorning every spare surface. In pride of place is a tatty black and white photograph of people waving at the camera, lovingly preserved in a small frame.

“Hiya, dad.” Teddy gives the photo a wave and he swears his dad gives him a wink and waves back. 

“Did you say something?” Harry appears from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dishcloth. 

“Nope. Just talking to myself.” Teddy kisses Harry on the cheek, lingering longer than he should and breathing him in. Harry always smells delicious. He’s fresh cologne and cool winter mornings just after the first frost of the season. His breath carries the light scent of coffee and pain au chocolat and Teddy wants to taste Harry on his tongue. His heart beats in his chest with the need to run his tongue along the column of Harry’s neck, just to feel his pulse beating. He shivers and steps back before he does something inappropriate. Harry doesn’t have any intention of snogging Teddy again. Whenever Teddy gets too close he’s always got something urgent to attend to elsewhere and he bats away any attempts at flirtation with determined stoicism.

“Morning.”

“Morning.” Harry moves away too soon and wanders into the kitchen. “First sign of madness, that.”

“What?” Distracted by thoughts of snogging Harry, Teddy settles at the table just to watch the way he moves.

“Talking to yourself.” Harry retrieves a mug from his vast selection. He has mugs for everyone. Ron and Ginny have their Quidditch team mugs. Hermione has one that says something about books and tea being the perfect combination. There are plastic beakers with cartoon creatures on the front for the young children of Harry’s closest friends and there’s a terribly official looking mug which says _Minister of Magic_ on it. Only Harry Potter would have Kingsley Shacklebolt round for tea and biscuits on a regular basis. Even Draco has one from the official Harry Potter fan club. He gets all huffy when Harry makes him tea but he drinks out of it anyway, even if he does complain the whole time. Teddy stands next to Harry taking in the mugs, some of which are more chipped and used than others. There’s something about Harry’s mug collection that makes Teddy’s chest feel too tight and too small. 

“Here. Use this one.”

“You’re incorrigible.” Harry rolls his eyes, but he’s got that fond look in his eyes that’s reserved for Teddy. He pours a generous cup of coffee and grabs the sugar from a shelf as Teddy drinks in the way Harry’s t-shirt lifts and exposes a little skin just above his jeans.

“Don’t you agree?” Teddy winks and clutches the _Metamorphmagi are Sexy_ mug he found in Diagon Alley and proudly presented to Harry when he arrived at Godric’s Hollow two months before. Teddy’s sure he can detect a light flush in Harry’s cheeks whenever Teddy drinks from the mug.

Harry waves away the question, turning his back to Teddy as he arranges a plate of pastries. “There’s cereal in the cupboard.”

“I know. I’m fine.” Teddy takes his coffee and adds three sugars, until it’s more palatable. No amount of being nineteen and determined to prove he can do things like handle his alcohol and talk about politics over breakfast helped him develop a taste for the stuff.

“I wanted to talk to you about something.” Harry sits at the table and places the pastries between them, so Teddy can help himself. 

“Sounds ominous.” Teddy speaks around a mouthful of delicious pastry and wipes his mouth on a napkin. 

“Not really.” Harry shrugs and looks away. His jaw works the way it does when he’s got something on his mind and he’s trying to hide the impact it has on him. “I need to go away for a while.”

Teddy’s stomach rolls and he places his pastry on the plate, staring at Harry. “How long for?”

“I’m not sure.” Harry winces and he pushes a copy of the _Prophet_ to Teddy. “I can’t buy milk these days without it making the front page. It’s too much.”

Teddy takes in the photo which shows Harry looking comfortable and scruffy. He’s got that slow smile on his face, the one he has when he’s just waking up in the morning. He’s dressed in his favourite old jeans and a faded t-shirt and he looks mouth-wateringly good. It’s Teddy’s favourite look on Harry. It’s the one only those closest to him get to see, when he wakes in the morning and makes coffee, tea and pastries until everyone is awake and full – ready to start the day.

The headline doesn’t see the softness of Harry’s hair or the kind warmth in his eyes. They don’t see a celebrity remarkably unaffected by fame and praise it. Instead, they focus on the bottle of wine in Harry’s hand. They speculate about why the wizarding world’s hero would need booze at nine in the morning. _Because he was buying it for dinner with Molly and Arthur, you stupid dickheads_ , Teddy wants to shout. He curls his fingers into a fist as he continues to read the article which raises questions about Harry’s love life and his moral standards, quoting an anonymous ‘friend’ who expresses concern about Harry’s lifestyle. The quotes insinuate that these days Harry’s most likely to be found propping up the bar in the Leaky or paying for ‘companionship’ in Knockturn Alley.

“Fuck them.” Teddy’s voice escapes him with a low growl, his cheeks flaming hot as his stomach coils with anger. He can almost taste the rage on his tongue, that stupid, mean, dispiriting article. “It’s lies. It’s all stupid, fucking lies. Make them take it back. Fight them.”

Harry smiles softly but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’m tired, Teddy. I’ve fought for all of my life. I don’t want to go into battle with Skeeter and the rest of them anymore. I can’t meet anyone without it making the paper and nobody wants that. I need a break. Somewhere nobody knows my name.”

 _I want it_ , Teddy thinks. _I need it_. Not the front page news, or the stupid articles in the _Prophet_. It’s just Harry he needs. He’d put up with ten Rita Skeeters’ if it meant being with Harry.

“Where are you going?”

“Not sure yet. I’ll write.” Harry looks at his hands and Teddy’s stomach rolls again because he’s sure Harry _won’t_.

“You’re running away.” Teddy stares at Harry, blinking back the angry tears which prick at the back of his eyes. “You’ve never run away from anything before.”

Harry shrugs, a strange, defeated look on his face. “Maybe it’s the best thing to do for once. This kind of thing has an impact on everyone. It’s not just me. I told you that before.”

Teddy turns the page and he’s surprised to find a picture of himself, sitting close to Harry. It’s a picture from the day they went flying and got ice-cream together. He’s got that daft look about him – the hearts in his eyes he sees in the mirror whenever he’s cleaning his teeth after a night with Harry. His hair is bright, untamed blue and he’s bending close to listen to something Harry says before throwing his head back with a roar of laughter. Harry’s arm is casually slung across the back of Teddy’s seat and he’s giving Teddy one of those looks where his eyes crinkle at the corners and his lips curve into a half smile full of unspoken words. They look intimate. Happy.

“What’s this?”

“Don’t. It doesn’t matter.” Harry winces, making a futile effort to pull the paper back as Teddy begins to read. “Ted, you know I’d never do _anything_. If I’ve ever made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…I’m so fucking sorry.”

Teddy takes in his words and reads the text, stark against the faded parchment. There’s a sneering reference to _Potter’s godson some twenty years his junior_ and the implication of an _inappropriate relationship_ which is so heart-breakingly far from the truth it makes Teddy want to curse and yell and throw things around the place until he can breathe properly again.

“You don’t make me _uncomfortable_. I was the one that instigated it, wasn’t I? You’ve done nothing.” Teddy pushes the paper away and shifts next to Harry, staring at him. His heart is full, his breath catches in his throat and he speaks in broken syllables. “ _Look_ , Harry. Look at me. Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve wanted you? I wish you bloody _had_ done something and I’ve not exactly been subtle about it.”

Harry’s eyes widen and he stares at Teddy, his cheeks taking on a deep flush. His lips press together in thin lines and he firms his jaw in that infuriating, determined way of his.

“Stop it.”

“No, I won’t bloody stop it.” Teddy presses close to Harry and finally gets his mouth on his skin, brushing his lips against Harry’s neck. “I’ve been with blokes before, you know. I want you, so much.”

“No.” Harry’s voice is weak and fractured, his hands circling Teddy’s hands as he holds him back and puts distance between them. His eyes flick over Teddy’s face and he shakes his head, his gaze dark and wild. “You’re nineteen. Christ. You’re so young. I’m too old and too tired for you. You’ve got so much more to live for. Find someone your age, someone who can give you everything you want.”

Teddy laughs and it’s a harsh, bitter sound. “I already have everything I want. You. That’s it, Harry.”

Harry’s jaw works and he stands, almost stumbling back. He folds the paper and begins to put the breakfast crockery away with trembling hands. “I leave tomorrow morning.”

“Don’t.” Teddy moves behind Harry, pressing his chin on his shoulder. “Don’t leave.”

“I have to.” Harry moves away, giving Teddy one last look and rakes a hand through his hair. “There’s cereal in the cupboard.”

“You’ve said.” Teddy meets Harry’s gaze head on, even though his heart feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest. “I don’t want cereal.”

Harry waves a hand and looks away. “Well. Help yourself. Stay for as long as you like.”

“Harry?” Teddy’s voice is reed thin and desperate but Harry barely turns, his shoulders stiff and resolute.

“Yeah?”

“We’ll still have dinner tonight, won’t we? I’ve got a recipe for pasta I want to try.”

Harry’s shoulders droop and he murmurs something under his breath which sounds like _Merlin help me_ before he nods slowly, not meeting Teddy’s eyes.

“We’ll have dinner. Whatever you like.”

“Great.” Teddy watches Harry leave and whistles with false cheer, blinking back the persistent tears which sting his eyes and swallowing around the lump in his throat.

*

_When you're gone the music goes, I lose my rhythm, lose my soul.  
So hear me out before you say the night is over  
Don't let this be our final song_

*

Teddy’s nineteen when he lets Harry leave.

He makes pasta with chilli and puts too much chilli in the sauce until Harry’s eyes stream when he tries to finish his plate.

“Should’ve followed Molly’s recipe… _fuck_.” Teddy laughs until his sides hurt and his own eyes are streaming. Harry’s laugh is warm and mingles with his in the quiet room. When Teddy looks up, Harry’s watching him with the kind of look Teddy hopes is reserved just for him. 

The laughter stops.

“I know why Muggles write all those songs about love hurting.” Teddy can’t resist saying it, because he needs Harry to know. To really know. He’s going to get his heart broken anyway, he might as well give it to Harry entirely. There’s no such thing as a half broken heart and he’s damned if he’s going to have any regrets.

“Teddy…” Harry stops and then he holds out his hand. Teddy stares at his outstretched fingers before sliding into Harry’s lap, pressing their foreheads together. “ _Teddy_ ,” Harry says again. This time it’s deeper and rougher. It’s filled with the pain of broken promises neither of them got to make. “I shouldn't do this.” 

“Then let me. I know I said I wouldn’t but…” Teddy brushes his lips to Harry’s, tentative and questioning.

“Always, darling.” Harry murmurs the words into the kiss, finally giving in to Teddy and keeping him close. His lips are warm like the end of summer and Teddy can feel the hard lines of Harry's body beneath him - the arousal evident as he shifts in Harry's lap and pulls a rough groan from his lips. Harry slides his hands under Teddy’s thin top and finally they’re skin against skin, kissing until their cheeks are damp and their lips are sore.

“Why do you have to leave?”

“I’m giving you a chance.” Harry’s voice is hardly a whisper, his words buried in the heat of Teddy’s neck. His fingers slide along the ridges of Teddy’s spine as if he’s trying to count bump by bump, stroke Teddy through his skin and onto his bones. “A chance for something different. Something better.”

“There’s nothing else I want.” Teddy stares at Harry, trying to read the process going on behind his eyes which are as soft and sure as ever. There’s nothing but love and affection in his gaze and Teddy _knows_. He doesn’t doubt it for a moment when he stares at Harry without saying a word. “You think this is keeping me safe? You want it, just as much as I do."

Harry cups Teddy's cheek and just looks at him, without saying a word. After a moment he pulls Teddy close and kisses him with such gentle passion it steals Teddy's breath from his lungs and leaves him squirming in Harry's lap, deepening the kiss and pressing closer. It's only when he tries to unbutton Harry's shirt that he hears Harry's sigh and broken plea for them to stop. “Ted..." 

"Okay. I'm still going to kiss you, though."

Harry responds by capturing Teddy's lips in his own.

Teddy makes himself a promise. He kisses Harry and seals his promise in between whispered words of longing and loss. He promises himself that he'll try something different, just like Harry asked. He'll take a different path, just for a while and just to see what it's like. He loses himself in the slow, heated pressure of Harry's kisses and makes another promise to Harry. A promise to find him, if he's wrong. A promise to find him and tell him he's a stupid bloody idiot. A promise to fight for the right to make Harry as happy as Teddy knows he can.

He keeps his promises buried deep in the part of his heart that hurts a bit less than the others and kisses Harry as the sun sets behind them.

**Spring 2018 // In the Name of Love**

When the winter comes and goes, Teddy comes to the not so startling realisation that he’s probably destined to pine over Harry for eternity if he doesn’t at least to try to do something to get him back. Their long, glorious summer is a hazy glaze of unexpected heatwaves and searing kisses. Teddy brushes his fingers to his lips because he’s been kissed enough to know the difference between _I don’t want you_ and _I need you_. 

“ _Harry_.” He runs his fingers over his lips and closes his eyes until he can almost hear Harry’s voice and broken whispers in the shell of his ear. There’s the heat of the fading summer sun on his skin and Harry tastes like chocolate ice cream and wine. 

Eventually, Teddy gets up and braves the cool morning. He potters around the small cottage, now familiar with every inch of Godric’s Hollow. He stayed, largely because he didn’t was to go somewhere Harry wasn’t. The photos wave at Teddy from the shelves and he resists the urge to tell them they’ve just been left to gather dust. There’s just the one tatty photograph from the mantelpiece which Harry’s obviously taken with him but other than that the cottage is too quiet and too tidy, without that slightly unkempt look which it had with the two of them living in close proximity together.

Teddy stays in Godric’s Hollow until the leaves turn brown again and the carefully cultivated garden begins to lose its colour. He keeps it as nice as he can manage while he puts every spare moment into working on his project, taking long Fire Calls from Draco and ironing out the finer details. He waits until the first bulbs of spring begin to flower and he lets his friends throw him a stupid birthday party where he gets suitably drunk and gets off with a good looking bloke.

He goes home alone with the taste of someone else still on his lips but it’s Harry’s name that falls from them before he drifts off to sleep.

The owl arrives when autumn’s on the cusp of winter and Teddy tears it open quickly as he recognises the familiar handwriting. That night he settles on his bed and his gaze strays to the photo of Spain – of he and Harry laughing and smiling together. He flicks his wand and murmurs a spell which illuminates the room with a soft light. He picks up the letter by his bedside and scans it for the hundredth time, the parchment crumpled from repeated handling.

_He’s in Los Angeles. Odd sort of choice if you ask me but apparently he’s got a fancy house in the hills. I suppose it’s a big enough place chock full of Muggle celebrities that nobody gives two hoots about the wizarding ones._

_Teddy? I don’t know if it’s a good idea to go after him. I’m not sure he wants to be found._

_V_

Teddy folds the parchment in half and stares at the ceiling.

_Los Angeles_

He knows all about it because Teddy makes it his business to know about the kind of places Muggle musicians spend their time. It’s all part of the plan he’s been working on for three years. He’s so close, he can almost taste it. He has Malfoy backing and enough Galleons invested in the business than all he has to do is refine the charms and complex magic he’s developed with painstaking attention to detail over the years.

He fingers the parchment again and allows himself a moment to smile as his eyes flutter closed again.

Los Angeles is the kind of city that attracts artists and dreamers. Now that he thinks about it, Teddy could hardly pick a more perfect place to get his business off the ground.

If he bumps into Harry when he’s there, that’s just a happy coincidence.

*

_You and your mistakes, me and my mixtapes  
Nothing's gonna change the way I feel_

_I'm trying to right these wrongs, I'm playing you these songs  
And nothing's gonna change the way I feel_

*

Teddy’s been twenty for over six months and without Harry for far too long when he finally sets foot in Los Angeles. He trades his Muggle money for long taxi journeys on congested freeways into the heart of the city and then up into the winding, dusty hills.

When he reaches the address, the house isn’t exactly what Teddy expects. It’s flashy and sterile – sharp corners and glass windows which stretch around the circumference of an opulent sitting room. There’s a pool with ten loungers in a careful line. Only one of them looks out of place, skewed slightly to the left. The others don’t appear to have been touched and the fact that Harry’s found himself in a new place full of empty seats makes Teddy’s chest constrict.

He smooths his hair in the window and checks himself in the reflection. 

“I wouldn’t worry. You always look good.”

Teddy freezes, his breath catching in his throat. Harry’s voice is low, deep and familiar. He sounds amused but there’s an edge of nerves to his tone – a question Teddy doesn’t know how to answer yet.

“Not good enough for some idiots back in England.” Teddy turns, facing Harry at last. “One, in particular.”

“Foolish of him.” Harry clears his throat and rakes a hand through his hair. He’s golden brown, tanned just as Teddy remembers from that holiday in Spain so many years ago. Has there ever been a time when he hasn’t loved Harry? He can’t remember anymore with his heart beating out of his chest and the water in the pool moving lightly in the breeze. Teddy takes in the way the light from the setting California sun sets Harry’s face aflame with burnt sienna, yellow sunlight bright spots and shadows which ghost across his face.

“Do you think he’s changed his mind?”

Harry stares at Teddy and nods, just enough for Teddy to notice. “I’m not sure his mind needed changing. He had his reasons for thinking leaving was the best thing to do.”

“They were bad ones. Running away never solved anything.” Teddy pulls a face and tries not to be too obvious about drinking in the sight of Harry – strong and still as unkempt as ever. His shorts are loose and baggy but they’re short enough to show Teddy the curve and muscular definition in Harry’s thighs. He bites back a groan as he lets his eyes sweep over Harry’s chest, inching forwards because he wants to run his fingers through the hair on Harry’s chest. In the end his allows himself to touch, stroking his fingers through the wiry hair as Harry’s eyes shutter closed and his mouth parts; slow and tempting. “Please…don’t keep running.”

“No.” Harry’s voice breaks in half and then he’s tugging Teddy closer still. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” 

For a moment Teddy thinks it’s his voice, his words as he strokes the pads of his fingers down Harry’s chest to his belly button. It’s the kind of thing Teddy thinks about Harry all the time. The kind of thing he doesn’t expect Harry to say.

“Sorry?”

“Beautiful.” Harry’s lips press against Teddy’s ear, his breath hot against the shell of it and Teddy realises he hasn’t spoken at all. His thoughts echo the words which fall from Harry’s lips in urgent whispers. Words like _love_ and _want_ and a _sorry_ which breaks in half and trips from Harry’s lips with a stutter, Harry’s hands stroking down Teddy’s back to the base of his spine.

“I didn’t come here for this.” Teddy bites back a groan when Harry’s fingers stop moving against his skin and he kisses Harry on the cheek, lingering for just too long before he gets the wrong idea. “Not at first, anyway. I expected more of a fight. I came prepared.”

“Apparently I’m weaker than you think.” Harry’s smile doesn’t quite meet his eyes and Teddy glares at him because he’s not having any of this bitter Harry with his glass house in the hills. He wants _his_ Harry back. The one who wears aprons and buys his friends their own mugs. He wants the Harry who would nearly break his back doing the garden at Godric’s Hollow rather than let a particularly determined cluster of weeds defeat him. He wants the Harry who looks sinfully good in Auror robes and just as good in casual jeans and a t-shirt with the faded name of a Muggle rock band on that Teddy might never have given back.

“You’re not. You’re the strongest person I know.” Teddy rolls his eyes and sweeps his hand to encompass the pool and the sterile L.A. apartment. “When you’re not running off to California to avoid snogging me, that is.”

Harry’s lips twitch. “It wasn’t the snogging I was worried about.”

“Then what?” Teddy folds his arms and glares.

“Your heart. Mine.” Harry shrugs and he looks into the setting sun, squinting as the shadows cross his face. “What people would think about it all. I’ve had my life. I’ve flown dragons, fought wars, built a house from rubble and made a home I was happy with for the most part. I’ve not found everything I expected but I’ve always been content. You’re just getting started. I don’t want to hold you back.”

“You couldn’t.” Teddy unfolds his arms and brushes his fingers against Harry’s until their hands twine together. “You think you’re trying to protect me, but you’re not. I’m bloody well miserable without you. The only thing you’re stopping me from doing is getting a decent shag because apparently I can’t even snog someone these days without thinking of you.”

The sound which leaves Harry’s mouth is half laugh half growl and then he’s pulling Teddy towards him. Teddy’s ready to tell him everything he had planned – he practically has a script prepared – but there’s something about the way Harry’s walking them inside that makes him decide he can probably do that after. “Be sure. Be _sure_.”

Teddy answers with a kiss, returning Harry’s kisses just as fiercely and just as hard. He meets Harry’s promises with whispers of his own, his fingers trembling against Harry’s skin as he strokes them lower to the waistband of Harry’s shorts. He presses the heel of his palm against the firm bulge and bites down on Harry’s neck, a groan escaping between his lips.

“Christ, Harry.”

“How do you want to do this?” Harry pulls back, his hand sweeping Teddy’s fringe from his face and a small smile on his lips which makes him look impossibly fond. “What do you like?”

“Can you just touch me?” Heat floods Teddy’s cheeks and he slides his fingers through Harry’s, tightening his grip on his hand once again. “I haven’t really done that. I’ve thought about it a lot and I want to try it. I want to try it with you.”

Harry’s eyes are dark and his pupils blown with arousal, a muttered curse falling from his lips as he captures Teddy’s mouth in a frantic kiss. Teddy presses his own hardness against Harry’s hip and urges him lower as Harry pushes Teddy’s jumper up to get to his abdomen.

“Isn’t that mine?” Harry pauses when Teddy pulls the jumper over his head, revealing Harry’s old Rolling Stones t-shirt.

“Mine now, I think.” Teddy sits back, his head in his hands and flashes Harry a grin. He’s full of false bravado but he’s not sure Harry’s totally swayed when he chuckles and nips at Teddy’s ear.

“Yours.” 

Teddy wonders if they’re talking about the t-shirt still when Harry strips him naked and whispers it against his stomach again - a muted syllable – a hot huff of breath against Teddy’s skin. With the tip of his tongue, Harry licks at Teddy’s exposed cock before taking him deep into the back of his throat. Teddy’s had blowjobs before – one or two at Hogwarts and a couple of hurried ones at nightclubs after too many tequila slammers. At least he thought he had. The practiced motion of Harry’s tongue and the way he swallows Teddy down is almost enough to make Teddy come on the spot.

He finds his hands moving almost of their own accord to tangle in Harry’s hair as he bucks up further into his mouth. Harry holds him still with large hands on Teddy’s thighs – keeping him pinned to the bed as he continues to suck and tease Teddy to the brink of orgasm.

Just when Teddy thinks he’s going to actually kick Harry in the nose, the pressure of Harry’s slick fingers against his hole silence him. He sits back, swallowing thickly and parting his legs with a murmur of _yes, yes, please_ so Harry knows Teddy doesn’t want him to stop. The initial nerves fade when Harry’s talented mouth wraps around Teddy’s cock again and his finger slowly breaches Teddy. The sensation is so good – so intimate – Teddy can’t help the garbled words that fall from his lips. He thinks there’s _love_ in there and _home_. It’s only when he lets out his final _please_ that Harry finally stops teasing, fucking into Teddy with two fingers and sucking him down into his throat until Teddy spills himself inside Harry’s mouth.

Teddy’s just on the right side of sensitive when Harry slides his fingers out of Teddy and moves up his body to give him a languid kiss.

“I am, you know.”

“What?” Teddy wraps his fingers around Harry’s cock, tugging slowly and lazily, running his thumb over the tip. He gets used to the thick weight of Harry in his fist and strokes him slowly, imagining how it would feel to have Harry pushing inside him. “You’re what?”

“Yours. If you’ll have me.”

“Are you coming home?” Teddy gives himself a minute before answering because after making him wait for a year and a half, the least Harry can do is wait five minutes for an answer. He squeezes his fingers around the base of Harry’s prick, drawing a low groan from Harry’s parted lips which are slick and well-kissed.

“Yeah. I thought I might.” Harry brushes his lips to Teddy’s neck and he bucks into his fist and shudders. “This isn’t really me.”

“I’ll say.” Teddy rolls his eyes but he can’t really be too angry at Harry. He’s done enough things right over his years to be allowed a fuck up or two, particularly where Teddy’s concerned. “I stayed there, you know. At Godric’s Hollow. It worked out well having somewhere quiet while I got things sorted with my business. I’m going to pitch it while I’m here.”

Harry bites down on Teddy’s nipple and gods, he really shouldn’t be getting hard again but his prick twitches with appreciation. He speeds up the movement of his hand until Harry’s coming over their bellies in thick pulses, Teddy’s name falling from his lips like a prayer.

It’s a while before Harry speaks, his arm thrown over his head and his breathing evening out as he reaches for Teddy’s hand and squeezes it. Finally, he drops his arm from his face and tips his head to the side so Teddy can see him properly. “You’re here on business? Here I was thinking you’d come to make me see sense.”

“That too. The business thing is just a bonus.” Teddy grins and nuzzles into Harry’s neck, sated and content. “I’ve got something to show you, while we’re on the subject?”

“Now?” Harry’s voice is low and amused, the slide of his fingers in Teddy’s hair lulling him to sleep.

“Later.” Teddy yawns and buries his face in Harry’s chest, breathing him in. “Sleep now. Then you can blow me in the swimming pool.”

Teddy closes his eyes and drifts to sleep as Harry holds him close, the soft huff of Harry’s laughter lulling him into the most satisfying sleep he’s had for ages.

**Epilogue**

“I made you something, you know.” Teddy puts their suitcases in the hallway, watching Harry return the couple of photos he took with him to their rightful place in Godric’s Hollow. “I finally ironed out the wrinkles.”

“Oh?” Harry captures Teddy’s hand and pulls him close for a kiss. “This business of yours that’s going to make Malfoy rich and more obnoxious than ever?”

“The very same.” Teddy grins and he pushes Harry into the utility room which he used almost exclusively to develop his idea when Harry left. “Do you want to see?”

“Definitely.” Harry lets himself be tugged into the small room and he peers into a cupboard containing small bottles, each one carefully labelled. “What’s this?”

“Memories with music.” Teddy’s unable to keep his chest from puffing out. He moves behind Harry and presses a kiss to his neck, feeling the spot where his pulse flutters and skips. He thinks he knows the taste of every inch of Harry’s skin by now and he has no intention of forgetting any time soon. “Most of them are about you, if you wondered.”

Harry winces and he looks at Teddy with his eyebrow arched. He’s wearing his Teddy face, smoothing his thumb over Teddy’s cheek as he watches him. “Fancy making some new ones? I’m not sure I’m going to come across that well in these.”

“You were a bit of prat.” Teddy laughs and then he kisses Harry. “I’ve loved you forever, even if you made me spend a year and a half without you. I thought this might help you see my side of the story.”

“Only if you’ll let me add to it.” Harry gives Teddy one of those determined, heated looks which makes Teddy’s heart _pitter patter_ and his face turn hot under the intensity of Harry’s gaze.

“Add whatever you like. I want to see. I’ll show you how, after.”

“Good.” Harry kisses Teddy, his lips moving lightly against Teddy’s own as he continues to speak. “Because I consider this a work in progress.”

“Yeah.” Teddy’s heart leaps and he tugs Harry closer to the pensieve-like object in the middle of the room. “Want to see what we have so far?”

“Okay then.” Harry takes Teddy’s hand and he pulls him close to his side, pressing another quick kiss to the spot just below Teddy’s ear that sends sparks of pleasure travelling down the length of his spine. “Let’s see it.”

Teddy kisses Harry’s hand and together they lose themselves in Teddy’s memories while the music starts to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please show your appreciation for the author here, or on [LIVEJOURNAL](http://hp-crossgenfest.livejournal.com/39032.html)! ♥


	2. Teddy's Playlist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teddy’s playlist is below, with the songs in the order they appear in the various sections.

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/crossfest_mod/69766898/12505/12505_original.jpg)

**Last Shadow Puppets - Miracle Aligner:** _Tell him what you want and baby he can find you anything you need. Tell him what you're needing, hey, oh, come on miracle aligner, go and get 'em tiger. Get down on your knees, get down on your knees again…_

 **The Mountain Goats - Used to Haunt:** _Let me never lose sight of you, come and battle your chain all you want you're always gonna be welcomed here in the hallways that you used to haunt_

 **BEGINNERS – Who Knows:** _We could fall in love. Who knows. We could lose it all. Who knows…All that we do is follow the world as it goes. All we can do is…figure it out as we go_

 **BANNERS - Start a Riot:** _I will march down an empty street like a ship into the storm. No surrender, no retreat, I will tear down every wall just to keep you warm, just to bring you home...if your world falls apart I'd start a riot..._

 **Eighty Ninety – Heartbreaker:** _…you know how I feel more than I can say myself and you don’t have to promise what I know you’ve never felt. But will you be my heartbreaker? Will you be my heartbreaker tonight?_

 **Frightened Rabbit – Woodpile:** _Come find me now, where I hide and we'll speak in our secret tongues. So will you come back to my corner? Spent too long alone tonight_

 **Ataris - Boys of Summer:** _I can see you-your brown skin shinin' in the sun, you got that hair slicked back and those Wayfarers on, baby. I can tell you my love for you will still be strong, after the boys of summer have gone_

 **Dua Lipa - Hotter than Hell:** _Cause we're hot like hell does it burn when I'm not there? When you're by yourself, am I the answer to your prayers?_

 **Chainsmokers and Halsley - Closer:** _I know it breaks your heart, moved to the city in a broke down car and four years, no calls now you're looking pretty in a hotel bar and I…can't stop_

 **MØ - Final Song:** _When you're gone the music goes, I lose my rhythm, lose my soul. So hear me out before you say the night is over, don't let this be our final song_

 **Martin Garrix, Bebe Rexha - In the Name of Love:** _If I told you we could bathe in all the lights would you rise up, come and meet me in the sky? Would you trust me when you're jumping from the heights? Would you fall in the name of love? When there's madness, when there's poison in your head, when the sadness leaves you broken in your bed, I will hold you in the depths of your despair and it's all in the name of love_

 **The Academic – Mixtape 2003:** _You and your mistakes, me and my mixtapes. Nothing's gonna change the way I feel. I'm trying to right these wrongs, I'm playing you these songs and nothing's gonna change the way I feel_

**Author's Note:**

> Please show your appreciation for the author here, or on [LIVEJOURNAL](http://hp-crossgenfest.livejournal.com/39032.html)! ♥


End file.
